resources : The Real Question to Ask Our Kids: Not Who You Want to Become, but Who They Can Become -Ivanooo

For generations, we’ve asked children the same outdated question: “Who do you want to become?” It’s a question rooted in a rigid framework—one that assumes identity is tied to a career or a job title. This question made sense in the past, but in today’s dynamic and rapidly changing world, it no longer serves our children.

Instead, we need to ask: “Who can they become?” This isn’t just a simple reframing; it’s a radical shift in perspective. It challenges the assumptions we’ve held for centuries and allows children to explore their potential, free from the constraints of predefined labels.

Curiosity as the Foundation of Growth

Take Elon Musk. As a child, he was terrified of the dark. But instead of simply being comforted, he sought understanding. Musk later said, “Darkness simply means there are no photons in the visible spectrum. Once I understood that, my fear disappeared.” This moment of clarity wasn’t about being a genius—it was about asking the right questions.

Similarly, Albert Einstein’s fascination with a compass as a child wasn’t just idle curiosity. It was the spark that made him question the invisible forces shaping the world. This questioning led him to uncover truths that fundamentally changed how we see the universe.

These stories are not about exceptional minds; they are about what happens when children are encouraged to explore and challenge their understanding of the world. The problem is, instead of nurturing this kind of thinking, we corner children with a question that demands a fixed answer—one that restricts their growth rather than fostering it.

The Flaws of Static Identity

Not long ago, I saw a prominent school principal ask students what they wanted to be when they grew up. Many of them enthusiastically responded, “Social media influencers!” The principal’s visible disappointment reflected a broader issue: we are still clinging to a model of identity that ties worth to predefined roles like “doctor” or “engineer.”

But here’s the real problem: why are we forcing children to attach their sense of self to a static identity at all? Why are we encouraging them to build their self-worth around an external label?

This obsession with career-based identity stems from the Industrial Revolution, when economic labor became central to human value. Schools were designed to prepare children for specific roles in factories or offices, and this narrow definition of success has persisted ever since. Even now, with AI reshaping the very fabric of work, schools continue to push this outdated narrative, locking children into fixed identities that no longer align with reality.

Mechanistic Thinking: A Flawed Framework

This approach is a product of mechanistic thinking—a worldview that reduces life to predictable inputs and outputs. It assumes that change is linear and external forces are the primary drivers of growth.

But life isn’t a machine. It’s dynamic, interconnected, and constantly evolving. Mechanistic thinking fails because it ignores the complexity of human potential. It sidelines critical traits like creativity, self-awareness, and adaptability, instead focusing on control, order, and rigid pathways. To prepare children for the world they’ll inherit, we must embrace a new mindset—one that values the fluid, quantum nature of growth.

The Commodification of Hard Skills and the Role of AI

Over centuries, the cost of distributing information has decreased dramatically, making knowledge accessible to more people. From oral traditions to the printing press, and now the internet, we’ve steadily democratized access to information.

But while information became widely available, hard skills—like programming, writing, or scientific problem-solving—remained concentrated among those with the resources to master them. Mastery required significant time, effort, and cognitive capacity, creating a bottleneck in skill distribution.

This bottleneck is now breaking. Artificial intelligence is dismantling the barriers to skill acquisition, commodifying hard skills in ways we couldn’t have imagined. Tools like ChatGPT and GitHub Copilot lower the cognitive effort required to complete complex tasks. Programming, writing, and even scientific analysis—once reserved for those with years of training—can now be done by individuals with minimal expertise.

Skills as Commodities: The effort and exclusivity that once defined hard skills are being stripped away. Skills are no longer concentrated among specialists; they are being distributed widely through AI tools.
Cognitive Distribution: AI is creating a bridge between information and application, enabling people to execute advanced tasks without needing traditional mastery. This is a seismic shift—it’s not just information that’s being democratized, but the very ability to act on that information.
The New Differentiator: As hard skills become commodified, the emphasis shifts from “what you can do” to “how you think.” Creativity, emotional intelligence, and adaptability—traits that cannot be automated—are becoming the true markers of value.

This transition forces us to confront an uncomfortable truth: identity and self-worth can no longer be tied to what we know or do.

Building Self-Worth Beyond Labels

If skills are commodified, and jobs no longer define us, what remains? The answer lies in intrinsic self-worth. Confidence does not come from external validation—it comes from understanding one’s own potential and learning to navigate uncertainty.

This process cannot be taught through lectures or structured lessons. It must come from real encounters: moments that challenge children to think, adapt, and grow. By guiding them to experience this process, we help them build resilience and self-awareness—the foundation for true confidence.

Who Can They Become?

The question “Who do you want to become?” reflects a mechanistic mindset that belongs to another era. In today’s world, it is not just irrelevant—it is harmful. It locks children into rigid frameworks and ties their identity to external validation.

Instead, “Who can they become?” allows for exploration, growth, and adaptation. It recognizes that identity is not a destination but a journey, one shaped by curiosity, creativity, and the courage to embrace change.

As AI continues to democratize skills and reshape the workforce, it is clear that our old models of identity and self-worth no longer apply. Our responsibility is to guide children toward a deeper understanding of themselves—toward a future where they are not defined by labels but empowered by their potential.